How Does Therapy Work?

I bet you a million dollars that if you took a poll of therapist pet-peeves, the idea of our jobs are “just talking to people all day” would be #1 on the list.  Therapy is not (or at least, good therapy is not) just venting about your problems to a sympathetic ear like you would your best friend or family member.  Therapy is an intentional process using science-based techniques to help guide and support clients to deepen their self-awareness and change their behaviors.   Does that sound like girls’ night gab or making small talk to you?

To the layperson, however, the therapeutic process can seem mysterious.  You show up, think about stuff, talk about stuff, and somehow you end up feeling and doing better?? Doesn’t always seem to make sense. What your therapist isn’t telling you is that while you’re talking about your day and your problems, they’re scanning for patterns, beliefs, emotional responses and defense mechanisms.  When they stop and ask you a question, or respond to a comment, they aren’t just adding to the conversation to politely engage while they listen to you.  These questions and reflections are intentional and aimed at helping you progress forward in your treatment. 

As a therapist progresses in their career, they become more skilled at understanding and identifying patterns and learn new techniques and ways to talk about the human experience.  An experienced therapist has a deep understanding of human behavior and development, is skilled at listening and communicating, and stays up to date on the science and best practices.  Therapy is a craft.

Therapy works by asking you to explore your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors and find the connections between them.  It works by allowing you the space and time to process and express emotions with another person present to witness and support you.  Your therapist will also offer you evidence-based strategies and ideas for changing your behaviors or thought processes, which you then practice outside of sessions. 

As people engage in the therapeutic process, they notice their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors shifting over time.  And while the process may be ambiguous and murky at times, the vast majority of my clients report feeling significantly better within 8-12 sessions. 

Want to know more about the therapeutic process?  Let me know in the comments!