Inner Truth vs…

When I told my boyfriend the name I was giving to my counseling practice- Inner Truth- I explained that it was the  best description of the work I was trying to do. 

“As opposed to outer lies?” he asked.

“Yes…” I responded.

There are the outer lies.  The beliefs we inherit from our society, culture, families, and communities.  Those understood rules of behavior that impact all areas of our being and understanding of ourselves.  Beliefs about gender roles, social class, religion, ethnicity, and so on that tell us what we “should” do and how we “should” be.   Our society has taught us to measure our own worth- and the worth of others- based on values that benefit our current power structure.  These values often become deeply held beliefs that keep us from living authentically.

“But also the inner lies,” I continued.

Humans are amazingly complex, but often deceptive beings. We all are- no judgement.  We tell ourselves all kinds of untrue things. And we believe them.

It’s the “I’m fine” when something in you just doesn’t feel quite right.

It’s “I’m happy” when you’re getting angry all the time.

It’s “They’re going to leave me” even when your partner appears sincerely committed.

Denial, repression, projection - what Freud called “defense mechanisms”- they’re lies we tell ourselves and they take many, many forms. 

The work begins by trying to find our inner truth.  What’s going on under the surface that’s driving our behaviors today? What thoughts, feelings, and beliefs are we holding on to that don’t coincide with our authentic sense of self? Where is this all coming from?  

The good news is that the answers are there.  They’re in you. 

That authentic you? It’s in there too.  That part of you that craves safe connection, creative expression, rest, and community, it’s in there.  And if we can learn to listen to it, it will tell us what it needs. 

That’s when real, lasting change is possible. When we start living in greater alignment with our authentic nature, we start to experience peace.  That has been my experience, and that is what I hope to be able to help my clients do.  It’s not about getting better, it’s about getting truer. 

Find your Inner Truth.