Building Self-Esteem One Baby-Step at a Time

When many people think about a concept like “self-esteem” they think about sugar-coated affirmations and lists of all the things they like about themselves.  But having esteem for ourselves is about much more than just “liking” ourselves or being able to talk about our strengths in a job interview.  Esteem is about respecting ourselves.  To have self-esteem is to have self-respect, to see ourselves as being strong, worthy, and capable. 

And because self-esteem is about more than liking ourselves, it can also exist even if we don’t like ourselves or every aspect of ourselves.  I’m not a huge fan of my propensity toward emotional eating but I also know that I am worthy of respect.  Both can exist at once. But I didn’t always know that. 

I used to think to be respected, I had to be liked (by myself and everyone else) and to be liked, I had to be perfect.  If I had something that I didn’t like about myself, deep down it also meant that I had less respect for myself.  I devalued myself and over time lost a sense of who I was. Have you been there?

For many of my clients, rebuilding self-esteem and self-confidence after a hard time can feel daunting.   It can also be uncomfortable and scary to do things like speak up for ourselves, say no, ask for help or express our feelings.   

Not sure where to start?  Take one small action today with the intention of only caring for yourself. Whatever it is- 5 minutes to yourself just to breath, taking a walk, or listening to your favorite music, take a moment today to do something just for the benefit of YOU.  When we do this, we start to demonstrate to ourselves that we are worth taking a little bit of time for.  Once the snowball is made, it’ll keep rolling.  All you have to do is take one small step today.